Rebellious me??

I guess I've been feeling utterly rebellious this past few days. You could say recent events are to be blamed for my unsettled emotions. I don't know how long this will last or what circumstances I will have to face at the end of this. I just feel this intense apathetic-ness (don't think its even a word) for anything, including my assignments which is going to be a problem as the due date draws near :s.

A blog post I read not too long ago comes to mind. I especially related to it as it made a lot of sense to me. What's the point in what we do? Does it add up to anything at the end of the day? Some questions come to mind...

• Why do we aim for paper qualifications when we know nothing will ever prepare us for the real life?
• Why do we care so much about a certain someone when we know the feeling isnt mutual?
• Why do we try so hard to be nice when people just take you for granted in the end?
• What's the point of smilling when you know its totally fake?
• What's the point of hoping when you know its never gonna work out?
• What's the point of achieving perfection when nothing you do is ever good enough?
• What's the point of you believing in me, when I don't believe in myself?

Then comes the most important question; What's the point of living? Well I guess that's a pretty hard question to answer. That's one answer I'm still searching for and probably still will to the day I die. Its kinda ironic in a way, being that one of the reasons we live is to find a reason to live for?

Its funny the things you come up with when angry...:)

I forgive you...

Listening to: Strays Don't Sleep - For blue skies

This ones' for you. I forgive you.

I'll never say goodbye...

Call me stubborn, but i'll never say goodbye. We only part to meet again...

Updates! Finally!

The semester has officially kicked in. I'm finally feeling the busyness and rush of assignments, work, sunday school and not forgetting my recently-acquired hobby..hehe. Recently, I decided to support my friends and join a camp organised by them. Turns out it was unexpectedly awesome.

Fr. Danny is by far one of the best speakers I've ever had the honour of listening to, other then MJ ofcoz..hehe. I doubt any of us actually fell asleep during the sessions even though we were clearly exhausted. Still cant believe he managed to con the others into thinking im Hawaiian..LOL(seriously ppl, i look so so Asian).

The other fellow participants were great too. We had such fun bonding and playing very, very silly games(dip-hair-into-bucket-&-squeeze-into-bowl)..hehe. We even had Christian clubbing (Alan's smart idea) which was kinda freaky as the "club" was literally pitch dark. All in all, it was a good escape from our normal mundane routines. It kinda opened my mind to a few things I find essentially important and of which I hope I will follow closely to *fingers crossed*.

Aside from the camp & retreat, we celebrated Mummy's 21st bday..hehe. We had a mini school reunion, which was as awesome as the party itself. I just regret not taking pics with everyone (yes, I know its strange that I said that). As expected, the b'day girl got really high in the end, which led to us coming home at 5.30am? Lol( we still luv you..hehe). Heres' a lil photo update as well, enjoy??:)

My very random artwork, purely to test out my new acrylic paint!

Mandy's cool birthday invites

I love my "rock star"

A little overdued project that I helped work on.

Still waiting for more photo uploads!*hints*

These thoughts of mine...

Why I wonder sometimes...
What is it that you see in me?
Am I even that worthy to have you see me in that light?
I who feel so small, so insignificant, so insecure...
And yet you see me as strong-willed, independent, unique..
What do you see in every gaze?
I wonder if you see the same image I sometimes dread staring at?

The story of her...

Lately, my blog has been the last thing on my mind. Its not that I've lost interest in it, but rather I cant seem to ever finish a blog post. Theres' either too much to tell, too little, or too complicated to put down in words. I guess you could say my minds' in a mess. So, instead of writing anyting that might mess your mind up too, heres' a little project I worked on.

The unfinished product

Finally done!

PS: Thankx & credit goes to willowing for her tutorials!!!

Call me a student, one last time?

Final sem began last week signalling the start of the college environment yet again, assignments and the one thing i dread, the end of my term as a student. I never really thought this day would come so soon, and honestly I didnt want it to. Though many might feel otherwise but I love being a student. I love the privileges of being a student; not having to worry about money all that much, staying up late just to finish assignments, attending lectures, exams (I kinda miss them..LOL) and best still the privileges of my student card!!!lol.

I never really thought I'll be graduating at 21, its just so soon. It still seems sureal. I used to think I would still be stuck studying till i reach 24 (guess I should have opted for medicine instead..LOL). I guess it scares me knowing that by the end of this year, I would need to start looking around for a job or plan to further my studies. As of now, both options seem very hazy. I just hope when the time comes, I'll know exactly what to do.

College as expected, is very much dull and boring. I guess as last sem students thats all we can expect after spending a fair bit of time in the same institution. College environment seems so uninviting and needless to say subjects are far worse. I guess you cant stay a student forever, you have to move on and hope for greener pastures. Well, thats what I hope for...